


Orion Is Quiet Tonight

by bipsycho_earper



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Confessions, David Rossi (mentioned) - Freeform, Definitely Fluffy, F/F, First Kiss, New Years Eve, Spencer Reid (mentioned) - Freeform, a little bit of hurt/comfort?, but is oblivious to jj's feelings towards her, but only kind of?, emily is so hopelessly in love with jj, kissing on the fire escape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipsycho_earper/pseuds/bipsycho_earper
Summary: "This wasn't a JJ that Emily recognized. This was a shell of Jennifer Jareau that Emily had never seen before. It was like an entity had stolen all of the emotion from the normally expressive woman, and left her as a blank piece of paper with no pencil to draw."
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 8
Kudos: 97





	Orion Is Quiet Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again! It's me, back with my first fic of the year, which naturally has to be a 10 day late New Year's fic of course!
> 
> This one was meant to be a short ficlet based on the mini-scene prompt @top-jj-rights on tumblr sent me: "JJ and Emily holding pinkies in a crowd."
> 
> I kinda got carried away with this one, apologies!
> 
> As always: I don't own the characters. I beta my own writing, so all mistakes are my own (and Grammarly's lol). 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!!

**Orion Is Quiet Tonight**

Jennifer Jareau stood silently near a crowd at the bar of the establishment, facing the dance floor where she could see her coworkers—well, Penelope and Derek at least—having the time of their lives on the dance floor.

Normally she'd be out there too, dancing with a drink in her hand, but this year felt different. There was this sensation in her chest, this longing for  _ something _ that she couldn't quite figure out. 

Or maybe she  _ had _ figured it out but was suppressing it. Honestly, she wouldn't be surprised.

Emily Prentiss had never been fond of parties. They reminded her too much of the numerous galas she was required to attend as a child. Of the times where she needed to be Little Miss Perfect, Mommy's Angel, and a Goodie Two-Shoes.

As much as she liked dresses, she hated  _ those _ dresses that made her look "perfect," as her many nannies would tell her. She could never go up the stairs more than one at a time with  _ those  _ dresses. Hell, she could barely even reach each step with how closely her legs were bound by the fabric around her thighs.

When she first discovered the wonders of symbolism in poetry at fourteen, maybe, she thought of it as something beyond a physical restriction. Metaphorical, in a sense, to keep her legs closed and body pure. To stay clean and pretty and perfect. 

Emily hated it.

Had it not been for Penelope's pleading and her own inability to say no to the bubbly woman, she wouldn't even be at this annual FBI New Year's Eve party! She'd have been cozy at home with a full glass of red wine and Sergio by her side, cuddling together under a warm blanket and trying to ignore the copious amounts of fireworks going off in the night sky.

Emily supposed the party wasn't all awful. The music was upbeat and she couldn't help dancing along to it at moments. Plus, JJ was there too, so it wouldn't be  _ that _ bad.

Speaking of JJ, Emily's eyes scanned the room quickly, searching for a moment before finding the familiar face of the blonde. From far away, the blonde looked entranced by the fireworks lighting up the sky outside, but as soon as her blue glance met Emily's, paired with a small smile and returning her gaze back outside, the brunette knew there was something wrong.

Squeezing past the folks dancing in front of her, Emily attempted to make her way to the bar, mumbling quiet excuses and pardons to those who shot her glares until she was stopped by a recognizable hand.

"Hey, Princess," Derek laughed, visibly tipsy. "Come dance with us!"

Emily could see Penelope dancing along, attempting to drag Derek back into the sea of people. Shaking her head, eyes darting towards JJ and back, she held up her empty bottle with a wink. "Gotta refill!"

"Ah," Derek nodded, glancing over his shoulder to where JJ stood. He looked back at Emily, wiggling his eyebrows in only the way Derek Morgan could. "You finally making a move on your girl tonight?"

Emily swatted his arm lightly, smiling, and Derek feigned hurt with another laugh. "First of all, she's  _ not  _ my girl, she's not  _ anyone's _ girl. And second, she looks upset and I am just going to comfort her. As a  _ friend _ ."

Derek nearly doubled over at the stressed syllable, almost spilling his drink in the process. "Did you hear that, Baby Girl? Prentiss here is going to comfort JJ as a  _ friend _ ."

Penelope grinned at Emily, her cheeks slightly flushed from alcohol. "Ah, as a  _ friend _ ? Oh honey, you know tonight's the perfect night, right? Especially at midnight...you could kiss her at midnight! Start the new year off perfectly!"

Emily could see how excited the technical analyst was and decided to leave it with a smile. "I am just going over there to see if there's something wrong. That's all. You two keep on dancing." She started to walk away but turned back to shout a reminder to her two friends. "You two better be calling a taxi tonight!"

"Relax, Princess! Hotch already claimed DD!"

The brunette looked around the floor to find the unit chief, who met her eyes with a stiff nod. Emily chuckled quietly to herself, noticing how out of place Hotch appeared among the rest of the partygoers.

For starters, the man was still in his formal work clothes while everyone else had opted for comfier outfits. From the look on his face, Emily gathered that Strauss had required that he make an appearance at the ordeal and he had claimed the role of Designated Driver to ensure his agents made it home safely. She wasn't surprised, it  _ was _ very "Hotch" of him.

Shaking her head at her horrible joke, Emily continued her path to the bar, handing the bartender her empty bottle. It had only been her first, but something in her gut told her not to have another in case she needed to drive. She ordered a water, nodding to the bartender. 

Emily slipped them a twenty, tilting her head towards JJ to acknowledge that she was paying for both of their tabs. Once the barkeep confirmed her payment, she made her way to JJ's side, silently standing next to the blonde and watching the crowd with her.

Lightly, as if a snowflake landing delicately on an eyelash, Emily brushed her hand against JJ's to let her friend know that she was there. She felt JJ's hand tense momentarily and panicked, wondering if she had accidentally startled the blonde.

However, she felt JJ's pinky lightly wrap around her own. Emily glanced over to JJ, watching as the younger woman silently watched the crowd.

The blonde's profile was gorgeous as always, Emily noticed, but something was off. Instead of the happy smile that she loved, JJ looked lost, reminiscent of a young child, unaccompanied in a large store. Those eyes that could pick up the sharpest microexpressions stared straight ahead, looking at everything and nothing simultaneously. Her lips tugged downward, nearing frown territory but not quite, remaining in a sort of grey neutral zone.

This wasn't a JJ that Emily recognized. This was a shell of Jennifer Jareau that Emily had never seen before. It was like an entity had stolen all of the emotion from the normally expressive woman, and left her as a blank piece of paper with no pencil to draw.

Emily bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of what to do. She hating seeing JJ feeling down, wanting desperately to help drag her friend out of whatever grey sea she was drowning in. 

Doing the only thing she knew she could, Emily squeezed JJ's pinky gently, drawing the blonde out of her absentminded state.

JJ met Emily's gaze with tear-filled eyes. Emily's face immediately softened, asking a silent question.

_ Do you want to go home? _

JJ answered with a small nod, pulling Emily's arm into her own. Emily intertwined her fingers with JJ's, leading her through the ever-shifting crowd to the large front door. Through her peripheral, she could see Derek waving at her, making many gestures that likely related to their earlier conversation.

Emily elected to ignore it, taking JJ out to the brunette's car and opening the passenger door for her. JJ stepped up into the SUV carefully, Emily closing the door behind her once she was inside, and quickly walking around to the driver's seat.

Emily turned on the ignition and put an arm around the passenger seat to twist her body more and back out of the parking space. She glanced quickly at JJ before turning onto the main road.

JJ was staring out the window at the sky, not even flinching at the sudden fireworks exploding all over the city. Her chin rested on her hand, her elbow on the base of the window.

"JJ?"

Emily's voice shook JJ out of her stupor. "Hm?"

"I had asked whether you were alright coming over to my place or not," Emily chuckled softly, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the center console. "It's cool if you're not, I just figured, since it was closer—"

"No, yeah," JJ answered. "I'm good with that."

"Okay."

There was a silence for a moment. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it felt unusual to Emily. Normally during their car rides together, they'd be screaming song lyrics or joking around or just having a casual conversation. This silence was...unsettling to say the least, but Emily didn't know how to fill it.

So she didn't. She turned on the radio, keeping the volume at a quiet seven. The radio had already been preset to a soft rock station, one of Emily's favorites to listen to on her drives home from work. It was calming to have the music playing in the background as she drove, reflecting on her day. She hoped that the music might help JJ find some sort of relaxation as well.

A lesser silence lingered, filled momentarily with fireworks, car horns, and the sound of the car's blinker every time Emily needed to make a turn. She stole glances at JJ as she drove, searching for anything, anything that could show how the blonde was feeling. It didn't take long for her to realize that she wasn't going to see many expressions before they reached Emily's apartment.

As she came to a short stop (muttering a curse under her breath at the stoplight that couldn't stay green for  _ one _ more second), she felt JJ grab her free hand. Her eyes widened, still looking forward, afraid that she scared the absolute shit out of her friend, but JJ's hand relaxed, pulling Emily's hand into her lap and holding it.

Emily felt a soft smile form on her face at the contact, not wanting to let go.

______________________________________________________________________________

Some of the fireworks had died down by the time the two reached Emily's apartment a handful of minutes later. Emily assumed they were being saved for the big midnight celebration.

JJ had not said a word during the rest of the car ride home, but never let go of Emily's hand as the older woman parked in her numbered spot. Emily couldn't help but wonder if it was a grounding mechanism for JJ, the profiler in her pushing forefront to her mind before she could stop it.

She wondered if, in that moment of time, she was JJ's anchor in a storm-ridden sea. If the waves were ruthlessly rocking JJ's ship back and forth, the rain pouring on the surface of her top deck, visibility down to nothing. She wondered if JJ trusted her as that anchor, that she wouldn't let JJ fall victim to the storm.

Emily was damn happy to offer herself as that anchor to JJ. Damn happy.

"We're here," Emily all but whispered, hoping to not startle the blonde. JJ nodded, hesitating a moment before letting Emily's hand fall from her fingertips and opening the door.

She met Emily in front of the SUV, her hand immediately reaching for the older woman's arm and wrapping around it as they walked silently to the front door of the apartment complex.

Emily deftly opened the door, leading JJ inside and to the elevator. Together, they rode up to the top floor of the apartment building, the only sound being the classic elevator music that Emily typically despised—though tonight she was thankful for it for filling the quiet that surrounded the two of them.

Unlocking the door to her apartment, Emily tossed her keys into the bowl by the door and guided JJ to the couch, allowing her to sit for a minute before daring to pull her arm away from JJ. The blonde stared at the floor, seemingly lost in thought.

"The shower's yours, that is, if you want it?" Emily offered, going to pull out two pairs of pajamas from the bottom drawer of her bedroom dresser. "I have towels and your favorite shirt and shorts of mine for you. Is that something you feel up for?"

Emily looked over to JJ, waiting for a reaction. There was a pause, then the blonde nodded, slowly standing up and shuffling to the bathroom. Emily followed her cautiously, bringing the change of clothes along. She opened the small closet in the bathroom, pulling out the softest towels she could find for JJ and setting them on the counter along with the clothes. 

"You probably remember, but you turn the handle to the right to turn on the water and keep turning it to get hot water," Emily instructed quietly, placing a gentle hand on JJ's shoulder and pointing towards the shower controls for a visual. She paused for a moment, making sure that JJ was still following along, then continuing.

"To turn on the showerhead, you just have to push that little switch underneath the handle from the left to the right. And when you're done and you turn off the water, just push it back to the left so that there's no water stuck in the pipes. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and face wash are in the far corner on the ledge. 

"I'll be right outside the door; call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Mhm," JJ mumbled under her breath, looking up at Emily. A silent  _ thank you _ filled the blonde's gaze and the brunette nodded. Emily squeezed JJ's shoulder reassuringly as she parted with her friend for the first time since the New Year's Eve party, closing the bathroom door behind her.

She listened for the water to turn on before she moved away from the door, sitting down on her bed and taking off her shoes. Emily sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she brought her shoes to the front door. She took off her coat, hanging it up in the front closet, keeping a keen ear out for any sound of JJ's voice calling for her.

Emily had no clue what was running through the blonde's mind. She hated seeing JJ looking so absent from the world. It was overly odd, not being able to see that playful spark in the blonde's ocean blue eyes. Emily loved that little spark; it always brought a smile to her face, knowing that JJ was excited.

Not that she'd been entranced by JJ's eyes enough to notice that. Definitely not…

Okay, maybe she  _ had _ been, just a little bit. And she knew that she felt more than friendship for the blonde. Hell, she figured the entire team knew, based on her encounter with Derek and Penelope tonight.

Hotch and Rossi were overly perceptive—they probably knew before Emily herself did. Morgan was fairly perceptive too; Emily had definitely been caught smiling at a sleeping JJ on the jet one too many times to try and convince him that Emily only had platonic feelings for the younger woman. Reid probably knew, not from the emotional social cues, but more so from the statistical changes in Emily's behavior around JJ.

(Emily wouldn't have been surprised if the Boy Wonder had tracked her rising pulse whenever JJ stepped into the room).

Penelope knew for sure because Emily told her, though she probably would've figured it out eventually. For someone who wasn't a profiler, the technical analyst was one of the only people who could see right through Emily's walls and into the brunette's mind. Emily chuckled to herself, remembering how excited the bubbly blonde had been to hear Emily say those words out loud.

Many months ago, they had been sitting in Garcia's office one night after the rest of the team had left, though Emily could not recall why they had stayed so late. Both were tipsy on the wine Penelope had stored in the bottom drawer of her desk for nights like these, though the mental exhaustion of a full day of solely paperwork didn't help either. 

Somehow their conversation had turned away from discussing the files they looked at that day to their crushes, just like a middle school sleepover. Emily had tried to dodge the questions Penelope had thrown her way, but the alcohol running through her system did not help her case and before she knew it, she had blurted out the truth.

" _ I'm in love with JJ. _ "

It was a fond memory of hers that she visited fairly often and would cherish forever, though now was probably not the time to relive it.

Emily could hear the bathroom door open as JJ stepped out, drying the ends of her hair and offering a half-smile to the brunette, a smile that didn't quite reach her sad, longing eyes. Hoping that the shower a least helped relax JJ a  _ little _ , Emily grabbed her own pajamas that she left on the bed and proceeded to enter the bathroom, letting JJ know that she was taking a quick shower and that the blonde was free to use whatever amenities she wanted in the apartment.

The older woman showered quickly, pinning her hair up and reasoning that she'd wash it tomorrow night. The hot water felt unbelievably pleasant against her tense muscles and she used it to her advantage, stretching her arms and legs to unstiffen them.

She stood under the spray for an extra couple of minutes, basking in the warmth that it brought her before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower to dry off and change.

Her long-sleeved, silky pajamas and fuzzy socks greeted her smooth skin with extra warmth from being in the bathroom during the shower. Emily threw her old Yale sweatshirt over her head for extra warmth and unpinned her hair, shaking it out in the fogged-up mirror until it looked remotely neat.

Tossing her towels into the hamper outside the bathroom door, she smiled, seeing JJ's towels in the hamper already. It made Emily happy to know that JJ remembered that she washed the towels after every use.

(It wasn't that she was one of  _ those _ people who  _ needed _ to wash them every time. It was just that the Ambassador  _ insisted _ on giving her new towels every Christmas. Emily managed to donate some, but she still had more than enough to last her at least a week of daily towels on her own!)

Emily glanced around the apartment, suddenly aware of the lack of presence on the couch in the living area.

"JJ?" She walked toward the front door, stopping beside the shoe rack. The blonde's shoes still sat next to her own, so Emily knew that JJ had not left the house. She called again. "JJ?"

Nothing.

Where could she have gone?

Emily searched the apartment, looking in the kitchen, the bedrooms, the main room, in all the closets, looking for any sign of the younger woman.

Nothing.

She ran her fingers through her hair again, panic beginning to flutter in her belly. There was no way JJ could've gone very far and yet, Emily couldn't find her!

Taking a deep breath of the cold air that flooded in from the slightly open window, Emily tried to calm herself down.

Wait…

The window was open.

Emily never opened the windows in the winter! She rushed over to the open window, opening it further to see the blonde sitting on the apartment's fire escape, staring blankly at the sky. One of JJ's legs dangled over the edge, the other bent and pulled close to her chest with one hand while the other held onto the role of the railing for stability.

The brunette released a sigh of relief, climbing outside and closing the window halfway. She lowered herself down next to JJ, just close enough to brush against the blonde's side and let her know that she was there. Carefully, Emily allowed her legs to hang over the edge of the fire escape, leaning back on her hands as she silently watched the blonde.

They sat together in quiet for a few minutes, JJ staring at the stars as Emily's eyes flitted between the blonde and the fireworks going off in the distance. She could hear a neighbor's television playing the  _ Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve' _ program noisily, listening as a performer she didn't recognize sang.

JJ was perfectly illuminated by the moonlight, the fireworks adding pops of color to the blonde's fair complexion. Emily struggled to look away, only forcing herself to look at the sky to make sure she wasn't staring creepily at her friend.

The lights of the city, the moon, the stars, the fireworks—all of it reflected in JJ's blue eyes. Though it wasn't her natural spark, Emily was grateful to see any sort of light shine in JJ's eyes.

Her blonde hair seemed to glow under the moon, the soft light surrounding her with a seemingly magical aura. If Emily ever needed to convince anyone that she'd seen an angel, to that person she would describe JJ at exactly this moment.

Whenever JJ exhaled, a small visible cloud of breath left her slightly parted mouth and lingered momentarily in the air, fading peacefully into the night. It didn't feel super cold outside, although Emily couldn't help but wonder how the blonde wasn't freezing in just an oversized band t-shirt and shorts. 

JJ's voice startled Emily out of her admiration.

"Orion is quiet tonight."

"Hm?"

"Orion." JJ released the leg she hugged close to her chest, using the hand to point up to the stars. "He's quiet tonight. His stars are dull."

Emily nodded, understanding the sentiment, but remaining silent to allow JJ to continue.

"Orion's my favorite," JJ smiled, leaning her head on Emily's shoulder. "You can see him best in the winter. When I was little, I'd always sneak outside to just look up at him for hours."

"That sounds really peaceful, Jayje," Emily murmured, sitting up to better support the blonde leaning against her.

"It was," JJ affirmed. "Whenever I had a bad day, which happened a lot after...whenever I was having a bad day, I knew I could go outside and see him at night. Breathe in the fresh air. Just relax and not have to worry about anything.

"Sometimes I know that I'm not going to have a good day when I can't see him. When it's cloudy, when the lights are too bright, or when he's asleep for the night. I can't really explain it, but I feel connected to him."

"Is that why you weren't feeling like yourself today?" Emily asked quietly, hoping she didn't sound intrusive. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you didn't really seem like yourself today."

"Kind of," JJ admitted, sitting up and turning to face Emily. "He was part of it, I guess. But...I don't know...There's been something else lingering on my mind lately and I just can't get it out of my head."

"Oh?" Emily tilted her head slightly, encouraging the blonde to continue.

"It's just...have you ever felt like you've got something on your mind and it's...it's something you want so desperately, but you can't seem to have, for one reason or another? And it just sits there like a brick—like one of those dreams where you try to run and you can't seem to move because every part of your body feels so heavy. That's what this thought, this...this thing that I want is for me right now.

"Take Orion, for example. Orion wants to be the brightest, most visible, most recognizable thing in the sky tonight, other than the moon at least. And most winter nights he has that. He can have what he wants. But tonight, all the city lights are drowning him out. All the fireworks. Even the moon wants him to be quiet and dull and barely visible.

JJ looked back up at the stars, taking a deep breath before meeting Emily's gaze once again. Emily could see ocean-deep emotions running through JJ's mind right now, and though she didn't fully grasp the entirety of the Orion analogy, she understood exactly what JJ was talking about.

"And he wants so  _ desperately _ to be the brightest. To have this thing that he's wanted for so long. That's how I feel. I desperately want this...this person, and I know that I want  _ this _ person.  _ Only _ this person. But for some reason, I can't seem to have them. I can't talk to them or ask them and it's been eating at my mind for the past week and tonight it hit me just how badly I want them. It's like I'm empty inside, like I can't feel anything but longing for them and I don't know how to make it stop, you know?"

Emily nodded somberly. "Yeah."

The brunette recognized the exact look in JJ's eyes: the yearning, the desperation, the absolute  _ love _ that JJ had for this person. It was the same way Emily felt towards JJ, but could not put into words, nor would she ever dare compromise their friendship for her own desire.

Besides, JJ had been staring into the dancing crowd at the party, if Emily remembered correctly. There was a high chance that the object of her affection was on the dance floor.

The New Year's countdown on the neighbor's television began, Emily making a mental note to ask her neighbors to turn down the volume next time, or at least close the window.

_ 10! _

"Look, Jayje…"

_ 9! _

"If you need anyone to talk to about this…"

_ 8! _

"You know I'm always here for you…"

_ 7! _

"Right?"

_ 6! _

Emily looked at JJ, who just stared at her incredulously.

_ 5! _

"Did...did I…"

_ 4! _

"Did I say something wrong?

_ 3! _

More silence, plus a disbelieving shake of the head from JJ.

_ 2! _

"Jayje?"

_ 1! _

"Oh, fuck it," JJ muttered, cupping Emily's face in her hands and pulling Emily into a kiss. Tender, loving, and short—JJ put all the emotions she couldn't find words for into that one kiss.

_ HAPPY NEW YEAR! _

"Woah," Emily whispered as JJ pulled back. She could see a wave of worry fill the blonde's eyes as she looked down, visibly contemplating what to say next. Emily tucked a strand of JJ's hair behind the blonde's ear, shock still written on her face.

"It's you, Em," JJ breathed, meeting Emily's wide-eyed gaze after a moment. She swallowed hesitantly, unsure of what Emily's reaction meant, but continuing on. "I just...I want—"

JJ was cut off again by Emily's lips crashing up against her own. The kiss lasted longer, their lips moving against each other like perfect puzzle pieces fitting together after years of being separated. The fireworks continued to go off in the distance, a complete cliché, and yet, neither really cared. 

A few minutes (and many more kisses later), they finally pulled apart, Emily leaning her forehead against JJ's, watching how the cold clouds of their breath combined into one. Never once had Emily sat on the fire escape, but she now knew she needed to do it more often, especially with the blonde by her side.

Emily laughed softly, meeting JJ's gaze once more, love filling her eyes. She could see that the spark of happiness, of excitement, that normally took shelter in JJ's eyes had returned once more, making this New Year all the better.

The brunette used her hand to tilt up JJ's chin again, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to the blonde's lips, then one to the tip of her nose.

"Happy New Year, Jayje."

"Happy New Year, Em."


End file.
